Masochism is a force to reckon with…
Whatever causes me to drive myself into dead ends, it’s not good.
Why should I do this to myself? Well, because then the circumstances are bound to force me into action. I mean, with my back up against the wall I would have to do something about my predicament. Otherwise, I might die… Or someone might suffer terribly because of my inaction.
It’s as if I am an adrenaline junkie. Only, in my case, I am not climbing mountains without safety or anything like that. Instead, I am waiting for terror to strike in order to get me going…
One amazing human being I am…
And, as I said, I like it. That must be because my “juices” start flowing.
Ay caramba.
So, nothing short of fear motivates me? Isn’t that dandy?…
What kind of a giant pill do I need to swallow to get me to the generally acceptable?… Oh, dear.
I wait for the proverbial Damoclean sword to hang over my head despite the psychological pain I cause myself. That’s masochism.
I hear it’s pretty common for people to do this to themselves in a bunch of different ways. Not that it makes for a good excuse for me to do so…
Right now, I am waiting for near-death to come by and get me back into the workforce…
Moral of this story:
Don’t do as I do.
Sergey Bloom 